Upsidedown and Insideout
by me in the present tense
Summary: Twilight-Eragon Xover Bella and all her "Forks friends" get dropped into a completely different world known to all us smart people as Alagaesia . Instant drama and insanity ensues.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello peoples! I know that this was deleted by some randomly evil hacker but we're trying to keep it up and running. For those of you who are new to the story, I know that the first chappie doesn't apparently fit in with Eragon, but take it from us, Eragon will come in eventually. The first two chapters are seperate for literary purposes, even though they're meant to be read together.Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!**

**Disclaimer: I think you should know that no one on this site owns any of the books they write fanfics about. If that's not obvious I'll make it plain and simple: Twilight and Eragon are already copyrighted and the copyright rights don't bleong to us.**

"Edward, I am fully capable of watching myself at a party! It's not like I'm trying to cliff-dive or ride my motorcycle again," Bella told him, with an edge of agitation creeping into her voice.

Edward grimaced at the memory. "It's not like I'm forbidding you to do _anything._ I just want to watch out for you."

"Of course you'll let me do stuff. As long as it has absolutely nothing to do with Jacob!"

"Come on Bella, he tried to, well, seduce you! And you don't even care?"

"As far as I've ever known, seduction usually applies to girls twisting the guys."

"You know what I mean!" Bella made a strange face as he reminded her of that one kiss. "Look, he can't even control his impulses. I let you visit him in the past, haven't I? And where was little miss 'I-can-look-out-for-myself-when-werewolf-hits-on-me' then?"

Bella sighed. Angela's party was important to her. Almost as important as her upcoming wedding and transformation. It was quite likely going to be the last time she would see all her friends until years later when she could control herself. "Look, I'll be careful and you can keep a constant eye, or rather, brain on everyone's minds. I'll even go so far as to let you drive me there. But I'm going and that's final," Bella announced with the kind of finality that always made Charlie willing to follow her whims and worked on Jacob most of the time.

Edward sat in thought for several seconds. They sat in silence for minutes. "If I can bring you there and pick you up, I guess it won't wind up too bad. But you are going to be picked up at promptly eleven, okay?"

"But that'll give me just four hours for saying goodbye to everyone!"

"You could wait longer for your transformation..."

"You already know the answer to that."

"I can hope."

"You wish." Bella grabbed her jacket and walked over to the exit. "I love you," she whispered. She hated leaving Edward on a tense note.

* * *

Edward insisted on bringing _all _of the Cullens to drop Bella off. "When he sees the fact that I'm not alone in protecting you he'll leave you alone," he said darkly. No matter how much he begged and pleaded, he _would _bring all of them and she _would _have a bunch of vampires watching over her. He also insisted on getting her there in his car, not the familiar truck in her driveway at Charlie's. Even though it was slower than anything created in this century, her truck was like a friend. The only non-vampire friend she'd be able to see before long for years, she reminded herself.

The car was silent as the trees whipped by. "Edward, how fast are you going?" Bella questioned.

"Don't worry about it," he told her.

"How fast are you going?" she repeated.

"Edward, I _told _you not to go over 100. It hurts the engine," Rosalie nagged.

"I'm not going _over_ 100."

"How fast are you going?"

"99."

"Slow it down a little bit! We're not in a Ferrari."

"Rose, it's just fine."

"Edward, just take it down to 90. At least."

"I have better reflexes than you. You have to go 90. I don't"

"Edward Cullen, please slow down a bit. I think you might be scaring Bella," Esme said. Edward pushed the brake slowly. Bella watched the speedometer go down two or three miles per hour. She returned her gaze to the trees practically flying past. The moonlight made them visible, but the light of a star above the mountain peak made them shine. Its was the brightest star in the sky, like a laser among matches.

The invisible line where the vampires had to stop appeared, along with their unofficial greeter: Jacob. "I'll take it from here, my friends," he announced so politely that it mocked them.

Bella undid her seatbelt and got out. "Bye!" she yelled to the carload.

"Wait a second, Bella, the party is over there." Edward pointed in the exact direction that their boundary followed. "We'll go with you," he said carefully eying Jacob.

"She'll be safe with me," Jacob said calmly, making each word polite and short.

"I'll feel better if we make sure that she doesn't fall down along the way."

"Gosh, I feel like royalty. I get seven bodyguards!" Bella gleefully exclaimed in an attempt to stop a fight.

"Of course Queen Isabella. Now where do you want to go, my lady?" Jacob said, deeply bowing. Esme gave a forced laugh.

"To the party, Jeeves!" Bella shouted laughing. They walked into the woods, the vampires as stiffly as humanly (or rather, vampirely) possible.

* * *

Calmly Angela served the chips. Even she had noticed the tension that surrounded the campfire. Bella was talking a mile a minute with the Cullens clustered around her. Jacob stared at Bella amiably, but met Edward's eyes with unadulterated loathing. She sat down by Bella, rubbing sand off her jeans. "How are you guys? I haven't seen you around," she asked them. _Please calm down, _she silently begged Edward and Jacob. As if in response to her words, Edward loosened.

"I'm fine, Angela," Bella said. "Edward, could you get me a burger?"

"Certainly," Edward answered gently and lovingly. He got her a burger.

"Like a freaking servant," Jacob muttered into his hot dog.

"What did you say?" Even when he was being insulting, Edward managed to sound wonderful.

"Nothing."

"You said something, Jacob."

"I just said that you're a freaking spineless servant when it comes to _her_. But you know you're the worst possible person for her!" he yelled over the flickering fire.

It didn't take much for Angela to notice this kind of stuff and this was more than she could ignore. "Jake, it's okay, you guys don't need to fight right now," she said reaching out her hand to try to calm him down.

"You stay out of this!" He twisted out of her reach.

"It's not my fault that she didn't choose you," Edward said without a single note of the yelling anger that showed through his tense body.

"Look, this is supposed to be a _party._ Parties are fun and happy times, not the place to try to kill someone," Angela shouted over the low growls of Jacob. Odd, she'd never thought Jacob would growl if he got angry. Dogs did that, not teenagers.

"Jacob, please, not here. We don't all know," Bella begged, glancing at Angela.

"Then we'll leave the area," he answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No!" Angela shouted. The bonfire put out giant tongues of flame as if to match her anger. Jacob sat down, staring at the soaring flames and scooting closer to Bella. Edward squatted next to Bella first, keeping his body ready to move in protection.

Angela suddenly felt tired like the flames had sucked out some of her energy. She slumped down on the sand next to Alice.

"What happened?" Alice asked calmly, still watching the once-again-small fire.

"Don't worry about it. A log probably burst or something," she answered, not quite sure either.

* * *

Bella sat between Jacob and Edward. How wonderful, to be able to sit between your two loves and keep them from killing each other. _This is a perfect night_, she thought to herself. For some reason Jasper was trying to send calming waves at them. Bella didn't know why. Tonight was just perfect.

Jasper looked over at Alice. "How about a walk?" he suggested.

"Sure!" Bella answered. "Edward, it's beautiful and you know how nice it is this time of year…" Bella continued babbling on and on. Edward nodded slowly, eyeing Jacob with a look that suggested an overprotective parent. Embry and Quil, Jacob's buddies stared at Alice and Angela and grinned as they nodded vehemently. Jacob's eyes widened at the chance and his grin was a little _too _ready_. How sweet of Jasper_, Bella thought. _I get to take a walk with them! _

"Then it's settled!" Alice happily announced without the slightest glance at the teens who were trying to grab her attention. "To the woods!" Jacob kept step with the Cullens and with Bella, trying to start a conversation. Edward stared at him until Bella pressed her fingers into his arm.

"He's not going to kill me and there are way too many witnesses for him to try to hit on me, especially Angela. She doesn't know," Bella whispered gently. He loosened his arm around her and directed her angry stare into the brush. Jacob gave her a triumphant grin as he tried to engage her on the topic of college. Instead of paying attention to his hidden meaning (you better be _alive _at the end of college), she stared at the mountains. They seemed so…small compared to the vast sky. Directly above the highest peak was a star, so close the peak that it might've been a radio tower if it wasn't so _bright._ It shone brilliantly, expanding until everything, the forest, her companions, and even the mountains. Jacob's voice fell away into the starlight, like he was underwater. Then she was floating in starlight, too surprised to say anything. She could hear Jacob cussing under his breath and Edward calling her name along with another sound, like crooning or a lullaby. The words were strange and unfamiliar; they didn't even seem to be English. Or Spanish. Or any language she knew, for that matter. They lulled her to sleep. Sleep. Sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: If you really think that we really own the books, then you have issues and need some kind of mental help. Now that that's out of the way, ON WITH THE STORY!**

Bella awoke amidst trees that seemed to scrape the sky, like the redwoods in California. It was utterly and shockingly silent, without even the smallest of bird songs to break the quiet. "Edward?" she whispered into the trees. Nothing answered her but the rustle of trees. "Edward?" the world was as silent as if she had become deaf. She screamed into the silence, the wordless scream of those who have no hope of anything they had always had. She felt so much loss, as if all of Forks had disappeared. A bitter wind whistled through the tree tops, chilling her. If only she'd brought a sweater! But no, all she'd worn was the thin blue shirt Edward had once complimented. But now he wasn't there. She stood up, testing limbs that were asleep. They felt strange, not like they usually did when she first woke up or not even like when they had just been asleep. They felt like they didn't even belong to her. She sighed into the deathly silence. What a weird day.

All of a sudden she looked at the sky. It was dark blue, almost black on one side and the brilliant colors of the sunset on the other (she couldn't remember which was east and west no matter how many times Charlie explained them to her; why did it matter? Left and right were _much _better). It looked like the sky when Charlie had forced her to go camping out in the wilderness with all the scary animals. It had gotten cold—fast. And she didn't even have the camp patrol people or Charlie to protect her from the scary animals. This didn't look like a campsite.

She wished Edward were there to scare away the wild animals. Slowly she took two deep breaths. Because she was alone in the woods, which were probably going to e freezing by midnight and filled to the brim with scary, hungry animals, she should look for shelter. Slowly she walked away from the clearing she had woken up in. She stopped at the trees. They seemed foreboding. But then she remembered all the wild animals and continued forward. Branches pulled at her. It got darker. Edward wasn't there. Her legs hurt, then deadened to pain. With every new step she added a new complaint. The sun sank lower and lower and it got so dark she could barely see.

Then she walked straight into a wall. Or, really, a building. It was tall with some kind of design on the top but she wasn't paying much attention to that. A door. She needed to get in and find a door. Or maybe find a door and then get inside. The order didn't really matter to her as long as she got in. _Who really cares?_, she told herself. _I'm cold, hungry, and Edward's not here. No one should complain about phrasing. _

The door was carved and difficult to find in the dark. But she did find it and got in. It wasn't much warmer inside, but the wild animals couldn't eat her. Edward would be proud of her for her decision to walk into the unknown in search of shelter and finding it. She started doing a crazy celebration dance until she decided she needed a few hours sleep. She curled up on the cold, hard floor to catch some shuteye. The last thing she heard before she fell into the dreamless, senseless sleep of those utterly exhausted was a hiss: "She will be good, yesssssss. She will be very good."

* * *

Edward woke up slightly sore, which was shocking because he rarely felt pain. His limbs were stiff. He stood up, surveying the land around him. It was twilight. Again. How odd that was. Considering it had just been the middle of the night. Bella was nowhere to be immediately seen. He was sure she was hanging around. Likely, she was terrified that he was sleeping, something vampires never did, not even for fun. Sometimes he hated that he couldn't hear her thoughts. He couldn't locate her in an instant like he could with most people.

He heard a groan. "Oh, dang it. Oh dang this hurts! Alice, you around to give me a hand up?" Jasper yelled into the air. His "brother" was coming to. "Edward? Little Eddie?" he asked.

"Jasper, do you have to get involved in every single one of my memorable moments?" Edward said. Little Eddie. Gosh, Jasper knew just what to say to get under everyone's skin. Jasper grinned.

"Guess Alice isn't here. Darn."

"Since when do you use such 'tame' language?"

"Since Alice told me she thought it made me sound like an idiot."

Edward picked his brain for more. "And since Carlise got on your case for your 'coarse' language?"

"Knew I couldn't hide anything from you."

"And you expected to be able to?"

"Hey, while you're at it, where's Emmett?"

Edward closed his eyes. Emmett was "awake." "Wait a second, _we_ _woke up._"

"You're right! So is Emmett 'awake?' "

Edward returned to probing for his brother's mind. _Hey there, Edward! Have I got a surprise for you and Jasper_, he was yelling with his thoughts. Emmett was running towards them. "He's…coming," Edward answered a tad weakly.

"Hello!" Emmett bellowed. "It's great to see you guys up and at 'em. For a moment I thought something had happened and you guys weren't yourselves or something, but obviously you're just fine." Emmett proceeded in giving both of them an enormous hug.

"Where've you been?" Edward asked.

"Exploring! This place is wonderful! It's like a time warp bringing us back to the Middle Ages or something…" His voice trailed off. "They dress like it, speak like it, even fight like it!"

"And what have you learned?"

"We're in this weird world called something like Alligator except it's more gay."

"So they're all GAY!?"

"No no no! They're not gay, but that's how you say the name. It's kinda like Al and then a gay and then seeeee like sea and then uh, like, um, uh. And more specifically we're in this country called Sir Duh. And there's a lot of talk about a dragon and a bicyclist. And a war!"

"A war? A bicyclist?"

"Yeah! Well actually they said rider, but it's basically the same thing. And for the war, they were forging swords and everything. And I'm absolutely sure there are a few sorcerers and sorceresses."

"Then we should make ourselves scarce."

"Why? Sorceresses might be really nice. And Rosalie wouldn't mind too much. She's always likes me to remember her beauty and from what I've heard, nothing makes you remember stuff like that than a little time apart."

"No, I mean from the war.'

Emmett frowned, the first time since his exuberant entrance. "Why should we be away from the war? And anyway, we can't leave now. I just signed us up for the army!"

The forest fell silent except for the furious cricking of crickets. No one moved a muscle. Jasper and Edward dove at Emmett.

* * *

Esme wiped her eyes. Her children gone. Her husband out gone. How many times could her life try to kill her before it would succeed? And suicide was so much harder as a vampire. She had the idea that there wouldn't be that many people here quick to cut her up into tiny pieces and burn them. She felt at the bottom of her resolve and courage.

She tried to sit up, but a gentle hand restrained her. "No marm, you must wait a little bit longer. You are quite a strong gel, but you need your rest," said an equally gentle voice.

"Excuse me?" she asked. The woman next to her was calm with the slightly stupid face of a typical pleasant person. A crinkly smile scrunched up her eyes, only accentuating the roundness of her person.

"Well, marm, you've been here for nigh on an hour, but your 'ead's as cold as ice. You need your rest." The woman reminded her of the nursemaid she'd had as a small child. Esme smiled at the distant memory. "You'll soon be well enough to get up and about."

"I think I'm well enough now."

The lady laughed a pleasant laugh like everything else about her. Esme had the idea that she was one of those sweetly simple souls who are simply _pleasant_, nothing else. She'd always found their plain stupidity aggravating, but now it calmed her. "No marm, you rest awhile. It shan't 'urt you to stay abed." The woman patted her hand, flinching slightly at the lack of warmth. "Marm, it's as if your very blood runs cold." Esme felt a tinge of hunger at the word blood. The woman saw her distress. "Don't you worry, marm, you're safe and fine. None would dare 'urt you."

"What is your name?" Esme asked.

"Elia, but I'd be pleased if you were to call me Ellie."

"Thank you Ellie. I am indebted for your kindness."

Ellie's face crinkled into a smile again. "Aw, you're quite welcome, marm, to a bit o' 'elp. I think you were in need o' it." Ellie walked away slowly, almost waddling in her roundness.

Esme rolled over, not caring that she would have to wait in bed until Ellie approved of her getting up. So what if she had to stay in bed pretending to be asleep for hours on end? She did when she was a small child. Instead of dwelling on her previous problems, she watched the sunset spread orange and gold across the sky.

* * *

Rosalie stared at the most beautiful people she'd ever seen. Even more beautiful than her. Much more beautiful than her. And not just girls or guys. They danced in front of her, as if to irritate her. They were perfect and that made her angry. She hated them. No human was as beautiful as her. Her only possible rivals were Alice and Esme, and even they couldn't come within a mile of her beauty. These people looked better than her.

They smiled at her, perfect smiles with perfect straight teeth. One outstretched a hand to her to bring her into the circle of jubilant dancers. She accepted it, squeezing with all her strength to crush the hand. The creature smiled. Pure euphoria flooded through her body, as if from the circle itself. "Who are you?" she whispered. "What are you?"

They smiled. Their calming bugged her. She fought against Jasper when he tried to do that. She hated feeling something that wasn't her own. She fought, lost, gave in to their power. Rosalie stared at their perfection. They deserved a cruel death. She smiled at the thought of them meeting their end in a gruesome, detailed version of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. They smiled back completely oblivious to her thoughts of their bloody, twisted bodies. Her footing faltered and they caught her. "Don't worry. We're elves. We can take care of you."

Rosalie found her anger. To think that she needed anyone to help _her_! She insulted them. They smiled bemusedly with the perfection that said, "Cute, sweetie. Go get a juice box and a Rice Krispie and take a nap." She'd seen the smile at the various daycares she'd attempted to work at over the years. She cussed them out, with the words and calm, yet angry handout that only came from almost a hundred years of insults. They hushed her, whispering what they thought were soothing words. She spit. They wiped it off almost in perfect unison. Her perfect hatred was going wasted.

* * *

Angela woke up. The light, warm pressure of a blanket covered her body. She started to sit up and let her body fall back again. Stupid. Her body ached, cried, screamed in pain. "Hello!" a cheery voice said. "I see you're awake. How do you feel?"

Slowly Angela answered, "I feel fine. Where am I?" It looked like she was in a tent, but for all she knew she was under another blanket. The lighting wasn't that great.

"Liar. You are in a lot of pain, aren't you?" The voice continued, now clearly a woman's voice. "You're not under Galbatorix's reign, if that's what you want to know. But more specifically, you're in Surda next to the battlefield of the Burning Plains in my tent." As an afterthought she added, "I'm Angela."

"So'm I. Well, at least my name's Angela." Angela wondered who Galbatorix was.

"I suppose the king's soldiers took you along or kidnapped you for a pleasure ride?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, soldiers do get bored...Never mind the question. You probably don't remember too much."

"I don't think so."

The woman walked about the tent gathering things. In the end she handed her patient a cup of tea. "Here, drink this." Angela took a careful sip and quickly set it down. Uggh! It was horrible! "I know it tastes contemptible (isn't that a lovely word?), but you're going to have to deal with it. You need something to help you get better." Angela left the cup in her hands. "It'll numb the pain." Greedily, Angela gulped the tea down, barely noticing the taste.

"What do you do, Miss Angela?" the girl asked.

"Not Miss Angela, just Angela. I'm a fortune teller—of sorts, a magician, and the tracer of excitement." The woman sighed. "Do you go by a nickname? You—I mean your name—is confusing Solembum."

Angela had absolutely no idea who Solembum was. "Call me Angie." The newly-christened Angie smiled at Angela. Angela smiled back, curiously as always.

**Well, that the second chappie, hope you liked it! Please review and we will try to get the next chapter posted. HELPFUL REVIEWS ARE WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR!! We need several GOOD reviews or we won't post the next chapter. We really don't care if you hate the story and you tell us a bunch of things we have to improve--just review!!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: We would own the books if this was make belive land. If this was make belive land, Bush would be a good president and veggies would make you polka-dotted**

Bella woke up, the tingling of still-asleep toes starting to sound

Bella woke up, the tingling of still-asleep toes starting to sound. This was the second time she woke up in a place foreign to her. Uggh. The floor was now uncomfortable, cold, and hard beneath her. She wiggled into a seated position, listening to the sudden clank of metal. "What?" she whispered scared at the sound. It was that scary time of morning when every little unexpected sound seems ominous and threatening. She stared at the chains wrapping her feet, like she was a criminal. Her eyes followed the chain to the wall, a simple stone wall that was so different from the familiar cement she'd always seen in poor-quality walls.

"What's wrong?" a new voice asked. It cracked with the sound of tears and lack of water. "Why are you here?"

"I...I don't know. Why am I here? Where am I? Where's Edward?" Bella asked the voice.

A girl walked into the dim light. "I don't know why you're here or who Edward is, but I know where we are. The Ra'zac have taken me hostage and have been holding me here for weeks, if not months. In all of Alagaesia, I have never heard of such a thing as this. Of course, I haven't ever traveled out of Carvahall..."

"What's that?"

The girl smiled sadly. "Carvahall? My home. I love Carva—"

"No I mean that Alligator thing."

"Alagaesia? That is this country. You aren't from here?" The girl looked slightly worried, scared, as if Bella might be a foreign cannibal who would eat her for lack of anything better to do.

"I came here last night. I don't know how...magic maybe?"

The girl was taken aback. "Maybe magic. The world seems so full of magic these days. Magic and magicians."

Bella took a deep breath, a slow deep breath, like she'd taught her mom to do when she was nervous. "I'm Bella."

"I'm Katrina."

They stared at each other. Bella took a careful look at Katrina. She wasn't much taller than herself and looked as thin as a supermodel. Make that an anorexic supermodel to the point where she looked scarily dangerously skinny. "Do," Bella began. Her voice seemed to bring Katrina out of some private fantasy. "Do they feed us here?"

Katrina laughed a pitiful hollow laugh. "We do get some food. Not much, but it's food. After some time you don't really care what happens. I guess food falls into that category for me."

Bella frowned to herself. Eating was important to her. She liked food. She twisted the edge of her shirt into a knot. Shocked, she scrambled to her feet. She was in a skirt, not her jeans. An ankle-length, rough red skirt. She was still wearing the blue shirt Edward had liked her in, but it seemed different; she didn't know why. _It's all I have left to remember him by_, she thought to herself, tears dripping down her cheeks. Katrina sat down beside her. "Bella, it's okay don't worry. We'll get out someday. Roran, my fiancé, he's going to rescue me someday and you can come with us. Won't that be nice?"

Bella sobbed into Katrina's sleeve. "But Edward...my Edward... and Jacob..."

Katrina looked at her with a knowing glance. "I'm sure you'll find them someday." Bella continued her senseless sobbing. "Shhh," Katrina whispered, like Bella was a baby or something. Bella wiped her now-runny nose with her sleeve.

"I'm worried about them. I love them so much..."

"Don't worry Bella; I'm sure they're just as worried about you." That made a kind of happy picture in Bella's mind that her two lovers were probably wallowing in the depths of despair because she wasn't with them and she might be in danger.

* * *

Jacob placed the edge of his new sword against the whetstone and laughed. He loved this new place; it was just beautiful. And there was a war! He enjoyed war, in the same way he enjoyed his gym socks: he loved to fight over it. And his friends agreed. Quil and Embry were nowhere to be seen (the last time he'd caught sight of them they were talking to some of the girls...), but he knew that they loved to fight too. So what if he didn't know a thing about this Sir Duh place he was in? So what if they were making him wear a pair of leather pants that was a tad too tight? He wanted to fight and the war couldn't come fast enough.

* * *

Emmett brought Edward and Jasper into the war headquarters. All three were tense and Emmett was sour. He had really wanted to fight in the war beside his brothers, but they were cowards and cop-outs. He angrily walked into the makeshift office. Jasper laid an also tense hand on Emmett's arm and tried to calm him down. Emmett's thoughts made Edward grimace slightly and Emmett grin maliciously. Emmett shook him off and stomped over to the young woman at the makeshift desk. _Gosh, why isn't any place here in All-gay-sea-uh an actual thing not makeshift or jury-rigged?_ he thought to himself.

The girl was sitting quietly, almost demurely but for the fierce attention in her eyes. She semed to be looking at something not there entirely, inside her or at least five hundred miles away. She was beautiful but simply so. It was obvious she was not one of the dozens of women who used their beauty to control people.

"Excuse me, Miss Arya, I signed up my brothers for your army and they are unable to participate," Emmett said, trying very hard to keep his voice level. After meeting her last time he didn't trust her. Around her he felt an alien presence in his mind, as if Edward was trying to pry, but different, altered, foreign. It was the girl before him.

"And who are your brothers? These gentlemen to the right?" she asked in a voice with an accent. It was both comforting and irritating because, like everything else about her, it was perfect. "I'll need their names and ages so I may remove them."

Edward had stopped reading Emmett's mind and was instead looking at the girl. "I'm Edward..."

"Carlisleson, I suppose? Such an odd name," she mused. "They had trouble pronouncing that."

"I guess..." Edward answered. Emmett nodded. "Yes that's me. Age 17. And this is Jasper Carlisleson. Age 20."

"All right. Thank you. And you, Mister Em-it?"

"I'll be there," Emmett said through clenched teeth. "I'll be there."

They walked out silently. As soon as they were out of human hearing range Jasper broke a smile. "Eddie, what is it that this Miss Arya has that Bels doesn't?"

"I can't read her mind," Edward said.

"Oh you can't, can you?" Jasper said with a laugh. "I guess you're only interested in girls who you can't know inside out like most. Eddie, you need to widen your scope."

"Shut up," Edward said. "And don't call me Eddie!"

"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie," Jasper rambled.

Edward took a mad tackle at Jasper and the two wrestled in the dust. Emmett laughed with absolutely no idea that the girl was listening and laughing to herself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ummm…yeah here's the next installment. I know, I know, it's not that great. It's a work in progress. My first attempt at writing something people can say, "Oh my gosh, this is a piece of crap!" Go ahead and say "Oh my gosh, this is a piece of crap!" Just try to put as much constructive criticism as possible. **

**Sorry about the whole not updating thing. It's summer vacay and I don't want to really do anything. I'm also very sorry about all the OOCs this has. I haven't read Twilight in the longest time. **

**Disclaimer: I have no literary rights at all. I don't even own the computer I'm typing on. **

Rosalie frowned at the elves around her. They were far too perfect! None had been influenced by her beauty. They seemed to think themselves infinitely superior to her and her beauty. It wasn't fair! She kicked at the pile of leaves in front of her. She had gotten out of their city, their Elle-issssss-mere-uh that they were so proud of. And one of her nails had broken. She felt that insanely irresistible urge to bite it. Uggh, she hadn't bitten her nails since she was, what, seven? And it all came back to the stupid elves. If they hadn't forced her to dance in their dorky circle like a kindergartener, she wouldn't have broken a nail. And if she hadn't broken a nail, she wouldn't have the urge to bite her nails. And if she didn't have the urge to bite her nails, she wouldn't have remembered the fact that she was starving and she wouldn't want to eat the elves. She hadn't seen any animals that weren't in the care of the stupid _vegetarian_, animal rights activist elves. _I guess they want me to be like them and not eat animals, _Rosalie thought. _I guess I could stop eating animals if I can eat them. _She happily imagined how an elf would taste. She thought the blood wouldn't be that great considering how uncourageous they were. It was like being with a bunch of lily-livered jerks who sat around writing lullabies about how "diminished" they were. The blood would probably be thin and—

Rosalie remembered Carlisle taking her in and explaining to her all that had happened to her and who she was and that she couldn't eat humans. Or really, drink human blood. She bet that Carlisle wouldn't want her to eat elves either. He just hadn't known that these..._monsters _existed. She felt the feeling of shame that had long replaced blushes (you need blood to blush and she certainly didn't have blood). Absent-mindedly she stuck her broken fingernail in her mouth and started to chew on it. And on a sudden whim she ran off into the trees. There had to be animals somewhere in here. It was impossible that the depressed elves who didn't have the guts to be emo or suicidal had control of _all _the animals.

Silently she sat beneath a tree and enjoyed her kill. It was small, just a rabbit, but she was starving and she wanted to eat. Blood rushed into her mouth, warm, delicious blood. It dripped down her fingers in her desire to eat it fast without even really enjoying the flavor, though she was much neater even now than Emmett usually was. She could imagine away the stupid elves right now. She could put herself in the woods right outside of Forks, not in some alien freak forest with singing trees (the elves hadn't specifically said the trees sang, but she sure there would be singing trees in a place this freaky. She was just waiting for Snow White to run through or start singing in her high pitched squeak).

Rosalie was so engrossed in the rabbit that she didn't hear the soft footsteps behind her. "What are you doing?" an elven voice said in as shocked a tone as Rosalie had ever thought possible.

"Dang it," she said under her breath. Slowly, she counted to three and turned to face the intruder. It was one of the two stupidly naive children in the little town, the little girl. The child was staring at the bleeding rabbit like it was the first dead animal she'd ever seen, which, trusting the elves, was probably the first dead, bleeding animal she'd ever seen. She looked green enough to puke.

Rosalie had no idea what she could say to this kid that was slowly walking away from her. "What are you doing?" the little girl said again.

"I'm eating," Rosalie said. _Lame and doesn't explain why you're sucking the blood out of a rabbit. _She took a deep breath. "I am a vampire."

The little girl stopped. "Wha-what's a vampire?" she whispered.

Rosalie sighed. "Do you want me to go back to your leaders to explain this or do you want the ugly truth?" W_hich you can't handle,_ she thought to herself.

The little girl spoke slowly, "I want you to stop that and come with me. I don't mean you any harm. I want you to just drop the poor rabbit and follow me. No harm. No harm." She was repetitive and despite her courageous attempt to look fearless, her repetition gave away the terror that was probably burning in her heart.

"Sure," Rosalie answered. "Sure. I'd be happy to explain to your elf-y friends that _I _don't mean any harm." _Gosh, am I that hungry that I can't even put in a snide, sarcastic comment about them? _she thought. She automatically tossed her hair over her shoulder to make herself seem more powerful.

"Alright. Okay, you can follow me." The girl took off at an inhuman pace. _Two can play at that game,_ Rosalie thought. She let her legs take off to exactly match the elf's.

* * *

Katrina sang to herself as she made a meal for the Ra'zac. Rare, bloody chicken with bones and gravy made of beef fat. Bella wanted to puke. It was all bloody and gross and nasty and she knew, she just knew, that the Ra'zac would eat the bones. Katrina was a whistle-while-you-work kind of girl, which was fine if there was a single sound other than the whistling. It was really eerie if the tune was the only sound in a medieval dungeon in which you were captive.

Bella wasn't big on God and heaven and all. She never had been. But for the past two nights she had sat awake on her knees for hours, praying Jake and Edward were okay. Some instinct that lovers develop told her that they were with her in Alagaesia, but that instinct was also the one that lit her imagination on fire thinking of the violent ends they could meet, particularly Jake with his hot head, particularly Edward with his thirst for blood and vampire-ness. Particularly both in this medieval world she knew almost nothing about. They couldn't get hurt! They couldn't! She loved them too much! _Love can change the world, can't it? _she reasoned. _Hasn't it kept me alive? Hasn't it?_

Katrina told her stories when neither of them could fall asleep. She would tell her about Roran and his more-than-slightly strange cousin, Eragon. She told such vibrant descriptions of Carvahall that she almost believed that she'd lived there. She could smell the bread Katrina said had baked in the ovens of her house, the warm, bloody smell of meat being sold in her father's store. Those were the stories Bella liked to imagine for her Edward and her Jacob. The stories of them living in some little hovel in a little town, making peace with each other. That idea was better than the idea of them getting eaten by a dragon (though Katrina swore that dragons were their friends). She'd gotten vivid mental images of a leg hanging out a reptilian mouth with jagged sharp teeth with large bloodstains on them. It hurt her so much to think of them, but she couldn't help it. When you're trapped inside a dungeon with nothing to do but make raw meat salad, your imagination takes a turn for the worse, especially late at night. There was no escape into the calm soothing realm of sleep-without-dreams because they haunted even the best of her dreams (usually in those they fell down holes or something like that that wouldn't cause too much pain). Dark circles ringed her eyes from her recent lack of sleep and her diet: two stale biscuits a day.

Bella rubbed her eyes. Katrina was still singing, but instead of the cajoling songs from a dance (as she kept telling Bella) it was a love song, almost a lullaby. With a few tears in her heart, Bella let the music drift over her and tried to fall to sleep.

* * *

Rosalie twirled her fingers around the edge of her sleeves. They, at least, were comfortable, quite unlike the stiff judge-like elf before her. He bounced his fingers on his desk. Rosalie knew he was nervous about her explanation of vampires and didn't trust her when she said she didn't eat anything that was human or human-like. So (no matter how much she wanted to) she wouldn't eat the elves. He wasn't too psyched about the whole let-this-immortal-girl-run-around-doo-wellden-varden-sucking-the-life-blood-from-our-almost-sacred-animals.

"Do you allow the dragon to eat flesh, right? Or is he some sort of vegetarian dragon?" she said softly. The dragon around the city had been her last resort. She hadn't wanted to waste her bitterness unnecessarily. They probably wouldn't even hear the note of sarcasm in her voice.

"No, little one, he is not of the same as us,"he answered. _Odd grammar,_she thought. "He does not inflict unnecessary pain. He is careful, while you seem to haphazardly kill without thought as to the life you snuff out."

Rosalie suppressed an urge to roll her eyes at the "plaintiff." "I do not request that I may be able to spread the blood about your _fine _city. I merely want to live, the same as you. If I refuse the urge to eat long enough, I may turn on you and your kind. I do not want to do that. My ethics do not permit that."

He sighed. "I do not want you to die. However you must not kill so shamelessly. I ask that you be taught by Elda Oromis. You need to learn the importance and reson behind our ways, even if you do not want to."

She tried hard to act like this sentencing was nothing. Really it was. No jail, no chain gang or hard labor, not even a bit of community service. All she had to do was pay attention to that freak for long enough to make the elf-judge-person happy.

* * *

Jasper was at the edge of their camp, sullen and sulking. Edward was poking violently at the fire, which they didn't really need but gave them an excuse to run off alone and tear pieces of wood into workable chunks of firewood. Gave them a good excuse to be violent and angry. The fight hadn't improved the _very _tense relationship between the brothers. They were all pretty willing to tear each other to pieces so they were sticking to firewood.

Edward was tuning out the evil, embittered thoughts of Jasper and the harried, pleading thoughts of Emmett, trying to get them to make peace. _What a switch_, Edward thought. Usually Emmett was the one with the hothead and Jasper was the peacemaker. Edward was sullen and impersonal.

(The fights were few and far between, but over a hundred years of familial bonds you learn how to egg your opponent on and how to predict what he'll do in any situation. That's just the way sibling rivalry works, particularly when you were adopted fully-grown from different time periods. The way you grew up is just so different you're practically destined to bump heads.)

Emmett was the first to speak in hours. "You know, I see why you guys don't want to fight. I mean in a battle against other people. It would just be a temptation. Hey, but what would you have done if you were drafted in World War II."

Edward spoke in short tense words. "Air Force."

"Oh," Emmett mumbled. "Well, I think I'll go with you and drop out of the army. Much smarter."

Silence.

"Do you guys want me to go, you know, find some animal for dinner? You guys haven't eaten in days and I know it's really easy to get in trouble or get lost here."

Silence.

"Well, I'm going." With a sigh, Emmett changed tactics. "You guys try to talk it out while I'm gone. Okay?"

Silence.

"Bye." Emmett's footsteps were the only sound in the glen.

Jasper crossed over to Edward's place by the fire. "I don't know what we're doing here. I don't know why or how we were brought here. But we are and I don't know, we're fighting a heck of a lot more than we usually do."

Edward grunted.

"I'm trying to understand this world. I don't know how I'm going to do that. But I want to have you on my side, Eddie."

Edward grimaced slightly. "Oh no you don't!" he yelled. Jasper grinned. Even if the "calming waves" weren't exactly working, they were getting words _and _complete sentences out of him. That was a start.

"You're not cooperating. How am I supposed to 'talk it out' if you won't way anything?"

"Are you going to apologize?"

"Maybe."

Edward grunted in response.

_He's not making this easy, _Jasper thought to himself. Purposely forgetting Edward would hear it.

"No I'm not."

_Why won't you just _try _to get along? _

"Maybe I don't want to get along."

_You miss her, don't you?_

"So what if I do?"

_Eddie, I miss Alice and Emmett misses Rose. And _all_ of us miss Carlisle and Esme. C'mon, we need to be together on this. _

"Maybe."

_I really am sorry. Not for calling you Eddie--that's just fun--but for teasing you about that weird secretary person. _

"Jasper, I'm going to let you off, okay?"

_More than okay._

"Emmett was right. I _am_ hungry. But after we eat, I'm either going to find Bels or get home to her."

"Alright Eddie!" Jasper yelled. He felt better knowing his brother wasn't ready to eat him. Not that he could, but it's not too good for family realtionships for the family members to want to kill each other. But Edward seemes determined in an almost scary way. A way that he hadn't been since he'd saved Bella from James.

**Okay so you guys got a new chapter to read! Aren't you all oh-so-joyful! Sorry it took so long. To all the loyal readers, thank you for dealing with me and my buddy here. We're not that great at updating are we.**

**I'm going to try to answer reviews, something I've seen other authors do. **

**Blue Moon Tiger Eyes: Phew! You have a long though pretty name! I don't really know what you mean I haven't read too much of it but I can guess from what I've read in books. If you've read any part of Dune you know what I'm talking about.**

**Mephis85: Well you'll just have to wait and see won't you? Thanks for doubting my ability to update! jk **

**horsegirl96: Sorry 'bout the wait!**

**ireadway2much: About your name: haha so do I! My parents are constantly after me for it. Thank you so much for the compliment!**

**ANGELOFTHEBLACKROSES: It's scary? I didn't really realize that...I think suspenseful would be a better term...again, sorry 'bout the wait.**

**Dragonanzer: Oh, so you're definitely an Edward supporter in the Edward v. Jacob debate. I'm keeping that in mind...I'm not sure if it was a "good start" but you people are _very_ nice.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everybody! I know some of you have been waiting literally months for an update and I say THANK YOU SO MUCH to you. I love you guys for waiting for me and I promise (cross my heart and hope to die) that it will not be so long between the next few updates. **

**Enjoy the long-awaited fifth chapter and PLEASE read and review with constructive criticism! :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any stories, least of which are these two. If I did, I wouldn't be typing on an eleven-year-old computer. I'd have something a little more recent. **

Bella felt like crying again. But she'd already cried twice just in what she considered that day. And she'd only been awake for a few hours. Katrina seemed okay, which was so odd. She was close to getting married too! Didn't she care about what happened to her?

The rough door opened and a trembly hand shoved a bowl in, then another. One bowl held seriously watery, disgusting porridge and the other, water. The water was usually full of random crap, but she really didn't care anymore. She was thirsty and by now brownish water tasted as good as what she'd had in the past.

They were alone in their cell, as always. For most of the time they were quiet. Katrina sometimes prayed, but to what god Bella had no idea. Maybe gods only worked in their own world so her god was out-of-service here.

Bella giggled at the thought of praying to Jesus and then getting the stupid out-of-commission message: _We're sorry but the number you have dialed is unavailable. Please hang up and try again or press pound for further options..._

"What's funny?" Katrina asked.

"Telephone operators," Bella answered trying to keep the giggles down. "Calling God and getting the you-can't-call-this-person-so-shut-the-hell-up message."

Katrina stared at her. "Bella, are you alright? And what is 'telephone operators'? I've never heard of them." Katrina gave her small, sad half smile. "You must think I'm such a little village idiot."

"Not really," Bella said. No telephones? Not that she ever really did _call _anyone. Except Edward and Alice. Her nose tickled in that odd, prickly, you're-about-to-cry way.

Katrina sat next to her, her two feet chained to the wall limiting almost all motion. "Don't worry. It's okay." She hummed a song softly like a mother calming a little baby. Bella felt the tears leak out of her eyes and down her cheeks.

"I_ can't_ stop worrying! Katrina, what if one of them got hurt or something? What if Jacob got angry and then hurt a bunch of people or if he hurt Edward? What if Edward hurt Jacob?"

Katrina stopped humming. "If they love you half as much as you love them, they're working hard to get here. They will cross the Hadarac Desert or climb deep into the...the...the _Spine_ to save you." Bella wondered what was so bad about the Spine Katrina talked about. Or the desert. Phoenix was in a desert and it was beautiful. She loved the desert. Katrina was crying a little, but she kept talking. "They'll find you or you can come with Roran."

Bella smiled. Katrina was always calmer in a little way when she talked about Roran. She just had so much faith in him that she really believed there was a light at the end of this tunnel.

Bella, on the other hand, was being cynical for what seemed like the first time in her life. _Damn, _she thought, _How do people live like this? With no one to love and fall in love with and be loved by?_ She felt dumb for never thinking of life without Edward _or_ Jacob in her life. There'd always been one of them to quell her tears and help her hold herself together.

_Crap I miss them! How can I live? _Bella started crying. Could a person run out of tears? She felt like she should be able to. She was tired of crying, but it was the only thing that made her feel a little more complete. She thought of how all the time after Edward had left her that she hadn't thought in complete sentences. She cried incessantly everyday for hours. Katrina was usually there to comfort her…or at least to try. Bella was really tired of her damn optimism. _Life sucks and then you die!_ she felt like screaming at the top of her lungs. She felt so empty. So completely empty. It didn't help that Katrina always had her guy, her Roran, to look forward to. Katrina would get all starry-eyed and romance-y at the sound of his name. "He'll save us for sure and it'll be so much better," Katrina always whispered as Bella mourned the loss of her second half.

Somewhere deep within her, though, Bella got the idea that though, yeah, this was a crappy way to live, but it was pretty much the only way to live there.

Edward walked out into the forest to think again. Everything felt different here, like he was getting in touch with part of him that had never existed before. He sensed that he was someone completely different than who he was before he came to this horrible place. "I hate it!" he yelled up into the clouds.

"Hate what?" a soft, musical, _girl's_ voice asked.

Edward turned around. "Who's there?" He hoped it was Bella. He prayed it was Bella.

It wasn't Bella. It was that girl from the war office, the one with a mind blank like Bella's.

She stood quietly. "Arya. From the camp. What do you hate?"

He sighed. "Why should I tell you?"

"I think I know more about you than you would think." Her voice had a strange accent to it, like the letters fell together in her mouth and then dropped out like music notes.

He sighed again deeper. "I hate it here. I hate everything here. I hate being away from Bella."

"Your wife?"

"My girlfriend."

"Ah," she said. "Your fiancée?"

"I guess so."

"You love her so much?" she asked, her voice honestly querulous and confused.

"Of course I do!" _I love her so much it hurts now,_ he almost added and then stopped. It didn't hurt that much. Being angry had stopped that. He thought of Bella more as his best friend, the child who he needed to baby sit when he pictured her face now.

Arya made some kind of approving note with her eyes. "I think that you should think about that before you make a decision." She turned quietly and left as suddenly as she'd come.

Edward stared at her as she left. She was a complete mystery, from head to toe.

Jacob stared at his commander-in-chief. Or at least commander. Damn, if Sam was like that the entire freaking county would be under their thumbs.

Murtagh was everything a commander should be: smart, knowledgeable, capable, and leading them off into the forest with the confidence of someone with twenty years of military experience, instead of one or two snatched up randomly.

Jacob was learning fast how to fight with a bow and arrows and was desperately trying to pick up swordsmanship. It was tough and every night he went to bed with muscles sorer than when he first transformed into a werewolf. Every night his skin was mottled with bruises that thanks to acts of whatever deity ruled around here were gone by morning.

Murtagh had taught him a little of the swordsmanship just so Jacob wouldn't be a "liability". He'd actually said Jacob had some promise, but they were moving fast and there wasn't much time to stop and have fencing lessons. Jacob bemoaned the fact that he wasn't able to learn as much as he wanted from Murtagh. He continually had a question for Murtagh, except for when Murtagh was riding or getting ready to ride Thorn. There was some unspeakable sacredness and terror associated with Murtagh saddling up the giant red dragon. It was something that Jacob just couldn't interrupt no matter what. The only way that he thought he could possibly explain it was that asking question after question would be like trying to interview a couple while they were trying to have sex. Even if Jacob knew they weren't (or at least believed they weren't), it was the same kind of intrusion on an event made for two and two only.

He thought of Bella as he put on the government-issue bracers. He always thought of her, except for short bursts when a question for Murtagh popped into his head. He thought of the way she looked when she laughed and how she smiled and what she would be doing here and everything about her. Occasionally he thought of sleeping with her or making out with her, even though he was pretty sure she wouldn't consent to either.

He thought about Edward in Thorn's jaws, too, and then he'd think of marrying Bella and having a few kids here. Everything came back to her. It left him open and ragged to think that she wasn't here with him and wouldn't be unless a miracle occurred. But he still wished like crazy that one night he'd find her sleeping beside him instead of the smelly old guy who couldn't fire two arrows together in the same direction. Or that he'd see her step out of the woods grinning or crying or anything as long as it was _her_, beautiful, wonderful her.

Murtagh called the signal for move out, and Jacob grabbed his bedroll and quiver. They were marching again to who knew where. Jacob just hoped it would have more fencing along the way.

Carlisle woke up groggily. Again. He was really happy of two things: a, he could drink mead here and get roaring drunk, and b, he could sleep off the hangover. Even if it was extremely strange to be sleeping again. He was happy to be able to forget that he was alone, without his kids or his wife, and he was in a foreign place a million miles away from his Forks, Wa. clinic.

Somehow he'd gotten into a castle. How, he really didn't know. But all of a sudden he was on speaking terms with a King Galbatorix, who seemed like an all-around really great guy. He originally had had a few suspicions that he was now court jester, but he really didn't care because the job came with free food and free all-you-can-drink mead. King Galbatorix would laugh insanely at every one of Carlisle's jokes until he was crying, including the dumb blond jokes. Of course, part of the pun was that Carlisle was blond, but he really didn't care at this point. He just cared that he had anything to take his mind off missing Esme. Even being completely, out of his head drunk for the laughter of a king.

Orry-guy lectured on about the importance of being careful about life and its uses and all the good things life does and how killing even the smallest animal has an important role…Rosalie tuned him out once he sounded like her biology teacher from '87. The bio teacher had spent a good part of the classes staring at her and had eventually hit on her. The comparison gave really bad memories.

_All this for a few little bunnies?_ she thought flippantly. _Good thing I didn't break into their deer supply._

Orry-guy looked at her deeply. "Rosalia," he said mispronouncing her name again. "I can tell when you choose not to listen to me."

She stared right back. "And? I don't think I have to listen to you. I just have to be here. Like community service."

"No, you have to be able to understand why you must kill humanely. It is important. It is necessary." He looked slightly flustered. "I understand how it is difficult for you."

"What about?"

"The need to consume the life of other creatures. I knew what you were from the moment you walked into our home. Glaedr knew of your presence and was wary."

She shrugged off the casual mention of the dragon and got back to the meat of the matter. "And? What do you understand?"

He walked over to a cabinet and started tea for himself. Once he came back he patiently looked at her like she was a juice-box drinking first grader again. "Some from your world come occasionally. Glaedr and I can feel it. Whether this is a limited talent, I know not. But I do know the nature of your body's need to drink life's blood. I know of how you will not die, even if I stab your heart with my sword. I know you are a legend and a myth in your world. I know a great many things about you and the other visitors of that world."

"So what does this do for me?" she said quietly. Almost humbly, but a light tone of superiority and boredom crept in.

He smiled a gentle "wise old man smile". "It means that I will tell you only that you must make sure the animals do not suffer and release you from my charge."

She jumped up. "Yes!" She was about to bound for the door when a thought came to her mind that would have stopped her heart, had it been beating. "Can you get me back?"

Orry-guy turned serious again. "I have thought of how to send these people of your world home again, and I may have an answer. But the chasm between worlds is wide and the bridge between them thin as a hair. I do not know if it would work. Any who try to jump this chasm may fall into the void and be no more. Your attempt might fail. You might die, Rosalia."

She stood up a little straighter and thought of Emmett. "I'm willing to take that chance. I want to be home."

Orry-guy's face was blank. "I do not know if I want to try and lay an innocent life in risk for an experiment."

"Please? I want this. I don't care if I die." _If Jasper was here, I'd be home in time for dinner_, she thought sullenly.

Orry-guy solemnly said, "I will allow you to try. But you must know that there is much that could go wrong, Rosalia. You have much at stake."

She tossed her head obstinately. "I will go home."

**So there we have it folks. I'm going to try to answer reviews short and simple (as per some wise advise from dragonanzer) and partially in groups, 'cos face it guys, you follow patterns and I'm kinda lazy and want this up soon.**

**Anyone who said "UPDATE THIS!!!"—there you go!**

**Anyone who said "I love this story! Thanks for writing about Twilight and Eragon!"—I'm super, super glad you feel that way. Thanks for reading!**

**Anyone who asked about plot I haven't revealed yet—wait and see. **

**Schizophrenic Muffin—I love the name! Thanks for coming back to it after the stupid hack. :D**

**Dragonanzer—Thanks for some constructive criticism. I really need it! Is this better?**

**Flame Ride—Carlisle's here—see? Yeah, I get the Total thing. **

**Bookits—I split them up so they'd see different things. **


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